Wednesday Blues

I've got the Wednesday blues!! I can't seem to shake this funk I'm in! I'm so unbelievably tired for some reason, and I enrolled my son today for his first year of middle school. Maybe that's it?? I'm not exactly sure what to make of it, I honestly want to jump in bed right now, but it's only 8:30 pm. I'm actually hiding in the basement right now, because my company is no good to anyone. When I'm having the blues, then no one in my house is happy!! That's why I decided to come down here for a while.

I really hate feeling this way, like nothings ever good enough. Or how are we going to pay for this and that, or I'm tired of dealing with unnecessary drama. I just want one full week of no money troubles, no fighting amongst kids, happy, laughing hysterically, and eating or doing whatever it is we want to!! That would be nice huh! It's always something...

I've been trying to get kids for my daycare, and when I think I'm getting close to getting a few something happens. I did get one baby, yay!! I had a couple mom's call and wanting an interview with me, so I clean up the house spotless, make sure the kids and husband are scares, and wait. I wait and wait and wait... They never showed up! If they knew how frustrating that was!! We talk all this time to get ready for them, and they just blow you off. It's pretty disappointing, especially when you know their kid/kids would love your daycare and you REALLY need the income. Oh well, what can you do.

So Wednesday is almost over, which means maybe Thursday will be a better day :)... Hey, Saturday my mother in law is taking me shopping and out to lunch! That would cheer anyone up. Ok, so typing about my Wednesday Blues has made me feel better, and I think I am ready to go upstairs and face the family... Sometimes it's really nice to have this blog, something to kind of spill all your thoughts out. Maybe nobody is listening, but it doesn't matter, you are still talking about it!!

Birthday Bash!!

Today is my stepdaughter's 7th birthday, and we are having cake and ice cream for her. I remember when I first met my husband two years ago and she had just turned 5. This goes along with my Blog about they grow up so fast. She has really changed, but came out of her shell. She use to be pretty shy and timid, but now she is pretty talkative and not afraid to speak her mind! Must get it from her step mom ;)... I think the hardest thing EVER is blending families! It's been two years since we've been together, and one year since we married and it's STILL tough. We get the hang of it a little more every day. Just got to keep your head in the game. So it's important to be as one, especially for birthdays...

It's funny because my mother in law called me the other day and asked if I wanted her to make her a cake. I told her no, we always buy our kids cakes so we will do it for her this year. Last year was her first year with having a birthday party with us, so we made it a big deal! Her aunt made a candy land cake for her. Yes, her aunt is VERY talented. Yes, I said first birthday because when I first met my husband, his daughter's mom wasn't very nice and hardly let him see her. So we took her to court and got our every other weekend, holiday's, stuff like that.

So this year I went to buy her a cake, and oh my goodness!! They are sooo expensive!!! I've never really noticed it before! I guess because I never thought of making one, I don't know why. My kids always got store bought, as I did as a kid. Dang, I almost made one but was determined to have a store bought one at the time I talked to my mother in law, I couldn't bring myself to make one. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I've been kicking myself ever since I bought it! I won't tell my mother in law that though, Ha ha!

We are trying to do it the cheap route this year, since we don't have much funds, so I bought plain balloon's and I'm going to write "Happy Birthday" on them with a magic marker. Hey it works! I really hope she has a good birthday with us again, and I hope she gets all she deserves... Happy Birthday Kiddo!!!

Oh, and let me know if who ever reads this wants to comment, and it won't let them. It let me comment fine on my own... Ummm!

My Crazy Dreams

I don't know why, but for as long as I can remember I have always had some crazy dreams!! Last night was one of them, I dreamed that I was outside on some kind of outing with my sister, my 3 year old, and a bunch of people I didn't know. The things that stand out the most about it, was we were outside surrounded by a whole bunch of things, then you look to your right, it's starting to storm and tons of cloud to cloud lightning. So we run under a tent, everyone is amazed at the lighting saying at least it's not ground lightning. At that moment I look to my left and see ground lighting, so I yell we do have ground lightning! To our horror we look, and all the lights we had go out. We see this weird twisting shape in the darkness and figure out it's a Tornado!!

So we all run, holding hands trying not to trip on anything, to a house and we make it. The house is shaking and I ask where the basement is. Then here comes this other couple with two little girls with them. I realize at that time that one of them is my 3 year old!!!! I couldn't believe, even in my dream, that I never thought to grab my child!! This wakes me up, and for about an hour I lay in bed thinking how could I forget my child! Knowing that it is a dream, but I still think do I really only think of myself, how could I only make sure I was safe... I'm not really sure how dreams work, but they sure do wake me up a lot.

I remember one dream I had about my brother right after he passed, which was in 2003. I still remember like it was yesterday. He had muscular dystrophy so he was in a wheel chair and had to be taken care of, for the most part. Great, spunky, funny, very touching young man. He was 21 when he passed, but he was my best friend. He was younger than me, so me being the big sister I always protected him. Even from the teasing when he was little because he couldn't run very fast, or really anyone that gave him a hard time. I beat up alot of young boys in my child hood days :)

Anyways, I remember he was in my dream and I was in a pool. I ended up getting him and carrying him around in the pool. We talked, and I said Michael I didn't want you to leave me, I wasn't ready for you to go. I remember holding on to him soo tight, like protecting him because I always tried. He said I know but I had to, it's ok... Brings tears to my eyes still to this day just thinking about that dream. I couldn't protect him from death, and I still struggle with that.

Dreams are weird and crazy, but can be so funny and kind too. Heck, I even find myself dreaming of my husband cheating on me and will wake up and actually be mad at him!! LOL... yeah, that seems to always make him laugh too. The crazy thing is I can remember alot of the bad ones, but not many of the good ones... I know I've woke up just laughing away at myself, but can't remember why. Why is that I wonder?? I'm sure they have a purpose and meaning, I have just never looked in to. Maybe I should some day... You never know what you might find out, or do I even want to know!! Maybe I'll just try to focus on the good ones and try harder to remember those... Either way, dreams can be soo crazy!!

They grow up soo fast!

Yesterday the kids and I went over to my best friends house to go swimming. She had her two kids plus her 13 year old niece. My son is 11 years old, and I never thought it would happen. Here he is in the pool playing keep away/tag with this 13 year old girl!! They were flirting!! My baby boy is flirting with this girl!! Actually I think she was the one really flirting. Every time we looked she had him in a head lock. My friend and I just watched them and talked about when we were that age.

Man, I remember being about 12 and going to Oklahoma for the summer to visit my mom. My sister, brother and I would go to the pool about every day. We would play chase/tag with these boys, and of course I had a huge crush on this boy named Josh. He was soo cute I thought!! So of course you have to act like you hate them, but really you like them. At that time, I don't think boys were all that crazy about girls as we were crazy about boys. They played with us alright, but to them that doesn't mean anything! They were just trying to win... Heck sounds like guys now days too :)

So on the way home from my friends house, I ask my son why he was flirting with this girl. He was so shocked I asked that because he was NOT flirting!! He couldn't even think of why I would even think that! Ha ha!! It seems like just yesterday when we were teaching him how to play catch at 3. He kept throwing the ball in the opposite direction because he thought it was funny to see us run after it.Oh, and who can forget his first day of kindergarten! I took a ton of pictures, and of course cried like a baby when I walked out of the school, and now he is flirting with girls and about to start middle school. Makes me sad in a way... Wow, they just grow up way too fast. I don't think I'm ready for this, but don't have a choice. I guess I will just go with the flow and prepare myself for a VERY bumby ride!

Nothing like hanging with Friends

Since the little one has been born, I've been staying at home pretty much all the time. I have kind of lost touch with all my friends. Now that the little one is 3 months old, I am ready to get back out and let it be known I am still here!! LOL...

Yesterday, I got in contact with 3 of my really good friends that I had not talked to in a long time. I found out some information that was new to me, one is now single, the other is now in Real Estate, and last but not least my dearest friend, well nothing has really changed for her :)...

Tomorrow I got invited over to my friends out to go swimming!! I'm soo excited! She's my best friend ever, and I really have only seen her 2 or 3 times since I've been pregnant and had the baby. I talked to her forever last night, it's crazy how much gossip we both have missed in our lives!! Not only that, reminiscing about the good ole days... Man we've been through a lot. We've been through, deaths, break-ups, babies, marriage, just about anything you can think of. I forgot how fun it was to just talk to her, and how much I really missed her! I really forgot how lucky I was to have her.

So tomorrow is our day, and the kid's day... Swimming, sun bathing, and hey maybe even a glass of wine for old times sake!! I remember we would have our little get togethers years ago, before all the babies, and every time we would drink wine she ALWAYS spilled it on her shirt. Every picture we have of those times you can see the spot perfectly... LOL!! Of course I was always and angel, ok we all know not true ha ha! Anyways, tomorrow I get to spend the day with the greatest friend I have ever known...

What on earth could it be??

So I'm giving my 3 year old a bath this morning, and I notice around her belly button area is red and her belly button looks swollen. It's usually an innie but it's almost and outy... I tried to google it and get on webmd to look it up, but nothing! I couldn't find a single thing about it!!

Every one's main question is, "is it a bug bite?" I don't think it is because I can't find a bug bite, and it doesn't Itch or bother it. It doesn't hurt her, but it's a little hard on the belly button... I will upload a picture and if any one can shed some light on what they think, that would be great! I'm so paranoid when it comes to my kids, but I would be devastated if anything was to happen to them... they are my life!

Any opinions... please share!

Another weekend gone by...

Another weekend has come and gone. They seem to do this more frequently these days... Pretty soon it will be my birthday and I will be 30 years old. I don't know exactly how to feel about that... I'm a little sad and in disbelieve! How did the time go by soo fast! It seems like yesterday I was 15 taking my sister's car, with out permission, and driving through the streets of our small town. It was a gear stick car, and I parked it in the driveway thinking Oh wow I got a way with it!! The next thing I know I am hearing honking outside, I look out and my sister's car had come out of gear and was in the middle of the street blocking traffic!!! Luckily nobody hit it and everything was okay... except of when my sister came home and had heard about it.

I still feel like I'm about 23!! I mean do you really ever feel your age the older you get? My parents so sometimes, but not that often. I still remember when my mom was in her 20's!! These weekends going by so quickly doesn't help either... :( Oh well, as long as it's a good weekend I guess it's ok. I just wish they were longer!!! We should have shorter work weeks and longer weekends!! Wouldn't that be ideal... I guess I will get my week started and look forward to the next weekend to come :)