Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Swine Flu

We have all heard those scary words "Swine Flu" and automatically get freaked out and paranoid. When I thought of it I thought life or death. I had a friend recently text me and tell me her daughter had it. My first reaction was "Oh my goodness, is she going to be ok?" My friend just said yes of course. Here lately we've been hearing about a lot of people getting the swine flu. It's not as big bad and scary as we were lead on to believe. I think when it first came out we didn't know much about it so it scared us.

This week I was diagnosed with the Swine Flu. I had gotten it from my nephew a couple of nights before. I didn't know he had it at the time or I wouldn't have been kissing on him. There are some negatives to having the Swine Flu, but believe it or not there are also some positive things that come out of it as well.

Negative sides: I had a fever for about three days. I was freezing cold and couldn't get enough blankets on. I was literally bed rid for two and a half days; I only got out of bed to go to the bathroom, which I hated doing because I was always so cold. I couldn't be around the children let alone touch them for days. I would give them air hugs and kisses when they went to school or to bed. Night sweats are the worse!! I had to put a towel down because when I would wake up, the bed and I both were soaked! My six month old would cry and I couldn't do anything about it. I had to sit and look at her. That's all! I'm the one always home with her and take care of her the most. Plus being sick is never fun, and I don't know about any one else but I'm a little baby when I get sick. Just want to be loved and cared for. The medicine they have for it is so expensive! Have you ever heard of having Insurance that doesn't cover prescriptions? Well, I didn't until we tried to go get them and found out our Insurance doesn't have prescription coverage! We pay out the rear for that Insurance!

Oh yes, the positive side. I bet you think I'm crazy but really there is a positive side. My husband works only five days a week but it's not a normal five days. He works Monday, Tuesday, off Wednesday, works Thursday, Friday, Saturday, off Sunday. You see, he is never off two days in a row, and he's never home before six o'clock. Usually it's dinner time, then the kid's bath time, then off to bed. Not too much family time. Since I've been sick he's been home taking care of the kids. Him and the baby have gotten unbelievably close!! He has a seven year old, but was never with the mom and has only ever gotten her part time. He's never really gotten close with her, so it's a new thing for him to raise his child. It's sooo cute!!! He's been dancing around with her, singing to her, feeding her, putting her to bed, giving her baths, playing with her, loving on her! She's usually a mama's girl and every time he had her before she would always just stare at me. Now, she'll look at me for a second then turn back to her daddy! She loves laying on his chest and just babbling away. I love seeing that bond! I act like it drives me crazy but really I'm very happy to see it. He's actually getting to raise his child and it's the best feeling in the world. I'm just glad that now he gets the opportunity to do it. Of course he's always been close with my three old so that's nothing new. He's just like her daddy too!

So you see, there is a positive side. Right now I'm downstairs and he's upstairs with her. I can hear him singing to her as I type. Ha Ha! Too cute!!! Isn't the saying there is always a positive side in every situation. I hope that's the saying because then I could look forward to everything that happens in my life from here on out. Oh, by the way, nobody else got the Swine Flu in our house hold. I was, of course, the unlucky one.

Having the Swine Flu is a serious thing. One thing to look out for is fever and heavy coughing. If anyone has those symptoms they need to go see their Dr. They say you can get medicine only if it is 48 hours since the symptoms started. If not you will have to wait it out and it could take days or even weeks. Keep your self Healthy and remember to wash those hands :)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Just about me!

I find myself writing about things that happen with the family or the kids. I put in my occasional stories with school or my brother, but I never really take time for me. Thanks to an email I just received from a loved one, I think I'm going to talk about just me.

I don't really think that people get me alot of the time. Heck what's there to get! I've always kind of put myself on the back burner to everybody else, and it was fine to be that person. But then when it came time to me being number one, it's never really been important enough to anybody else, even if it was extremely important to me. I am a honest person, not fake. I am a good listener and I don't judge most the time. Only when someone has done something bad to my family or in my life will I judge you. I am the person that gets left out or forgotten about. I actually see this alot in my son as well. I don't know why that is, but I've pointed it out to my husband and he agrees. There for a while I thought I was just being too emotional about it or something. My opinions don't really matter to the people that I want them to matter to.

Here are a couple of crazy examples, and people will probably kill me for writing these things, at my bachorlette party I actually bought most of my drinks. I think only two people bought me a drink that night, nobody thought to buy my drinks. I'm not the type of person to say hey buy me a drink. On my wedding day, nobody decorated our car. It was more like everybody was worried about themselves and not the people getting married. It was such a weird vibe! My husband was glad they didn't decorate, but I think it goes back to my past and never being taken seriously.

I've learned to be tough and on my own because I was forced to. I got pregnant at 17 with a guy that wasn't so nice to me or my family at the time. My dad ended up taking a new car I had gotten away from me, even though I was paying for it, and gave it to my sister while he paid for it. When my son was born my family didn't help out to much. I remember my dad gave me this little car I call a rabbit, but the first time he saw the dad driving it he took it away. So here I was 18 at the time with a two month old and no car. I had to buy it from him in order to get it back. I had no money! I couldn't go to them for help or support. The only one that really supported me and that I could talk to was my brother. Heck my own grandma would talk bad about me. I was just trying to live with out my family really in my life and that's not easy. I made some really bad choices as a parent, but I learned from them. Everything that I did I did for my baby. If I saw it hurt him in some way I didn't do it again. He deserved the best life and support that I felt like I never got.

He's dad wasn't the greatest at all!! He cheated, went to to jail, hit me, even in front of our son. He belittled me and made me feel like I couldn't do anything right, but I loved him. Even though he did some bad things, I knew he loved me and there were times where he was there for me when nobody else was. The stronger I got, the more mature and grown up I got. Eventually we split ways, but it really wasn't on a bad note. I know it sounds like he is a bad person, but he really isn't and if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be where I am today. That was years ago that he put me through all that and we both learned. I don't hate him, heck I still have love for the guy and to this day we still have a pretty good relationship and get a long. I wish him nothing but the best and I mean that. It still makes me laugh just thinking about how well that guy still knows me!!! We will talk and he'll say things like I know you better than you know yourself, man he's right! Lol...

Another thing I don't understand is how easy I am to forget. My sister is such a people's pleaser and she still has tons of friends back from her high school days. People flock to her for some reason. She's one of those people that goes along with whatever to please them. We are totally different! I don't talk to a single sole from high school. I would go out of my way to help anybody out, but they just don't keep in touch with me. Like even know, since I'm not working somewhere and don't see many people, all of my friends have lost touch with me. I'll send them a text and try to hang out or something, but they don't have the time for me. Perfect example, I have this cousin who has gone through soo many hard times and has been through so much!! I've went out of my way to email her, or send a birthday card telling her how proud of her I am and love her so much. My sister hasn't done any of that, but my cousin doesn't keep in contact with me but does my sister. I just don't get it! Sometimes it bothers me, but heck I should be use to it by now. It's been this way my whole life.

If you think about it though, I've been the one to really come out on top. I haven't really needed any help in life in a while because my family didn't help early in life. It made me independent, and others have to rely on parents. My grandma ended up being soo proud of me before she passed. I ended up with a great husband and I'm truly happy!!! Other's in life that have over looked me in some kind of way are not. It worked out for me and that had to do with everything I worked for. I guess I need to just think about me sometime. It's so hard for me to do that. I'm not even sure if I'll post this. I hate talking about my self like this. I think it makes me vulnerable. If I do post it, this will probably be the last time I ever post anything like this... Moral of the story is to tell myself "hey woman, you are a strong and happy woman! You are great and people that over look you are missing out. I love you!" Ha ha... that seems so strange to type. Thank you to the person that reminded me of me :) I did end up on top!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My Luck

I have decided that I have some pretty bad luck. I know it's not as bad of luck as some, the bad part about it is it's constant and about everything. For an example, I had decided to start a daycare after my baby was born. I started in June, by then we did not have much money at all and our bills were past due. I accepted a couple of kids that my husband knew their mom by the mom's brother. She ended up being crazy and so much to deal with so I had to drop them. I wrote her a two weeks notice July 7 and the last day they came was the 16th.

I am a part of this food program, they pay for your food to feed the kids. I'm a very honest person and anyone who knows me would tell you that. I was so needing money that I decided, for the first and only time, claim the kids until the 23rd of July on and not the 16th. I needed a good check to feed my kids and pay the bills. I got a letter from the food program saying that they were not paying me for what I claimed, but only to the 7th of July! The mom had called them and told them her kids hadn't been there since that date!!! I was so needing this check!! I guess we both lied, but I only lied for a weeks worth of food and I ended up with two weeks less!! They were actually there until the 16th but since the mom called and told them they were there until the 7th I didn't get paid what I actually fed them.

That's one example of my luck when I really needed it and never do anything like that ever. Heck people cheat the system all the time for stupid stuff. I know a girl that has claimed kids for years that haven't been there and she never got caught, but the one time I actually needed it it didn't pan out. That's the story of my life!!!!!

This year is my 6 month old's first Halloween. I found the adorable flower costume online and ordered it. It was to be here today! I waited and watched the door all day for the UPS truck to pull up. Finally at about 4 pm it pulled up; he put the package by my door and I opened the door and picked it up immediately. I opened it all excited and found a 4-6 year old solider costume!!! Man!!! I was soooo looking forward to it, and how does that happen!! Only to me I swear!! So I had to send it back and hopefully it comes before Halloween and is the correct costume. I just wish that the simple things would go my way. I don't want to have this luck, it sucks!!! Everyday it's something else.

I'm a great person and give back to my community the best I can, I know that sometime hopefully soon I will get my great outcome that I hopefully I deserve :)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

So many changes!

I have been soo busy it's crazy! I don't get on here as much as I would like, so today I have a lot to talk about. As far as me, I am good! I'm getting almost straight A's in school and I'm finally not stressed about money or bills. Life is comfortable! I'm looking to get my bathroom worked on and can't wait to get that out of the way. The tiles have been falling off my wall where my shower is for about a year now. You can see the mold growing on the sheet rock. Not a pleasant site or feeling.

My little is almost 6 months now and boy has she grown!! She screams, laughs, jumps around in her exersoucer, scoots and rolls every where. She is ALWAYS smiling! She's so funny!! I laugh at her all the time. She gets so excited and loves playing with the kids. She's pretty much sitting up by herself too. Still not that much hair yet, which is kind of strange for me as my other two always had a head full of hair.

I swear when they say the terrible two's I think they mean the trouble 3's and 4's. My 3 year is unbelievable these days!! She talks back, doesn't listen, does whatever she feels she wants to. For some reason last week she decided to pee in our chair and on the floor. Then she just sat in it! She's very strong minded and knows what she wants. Then other times she's as sweet as can be, loving on you, telling you she loves you every 5 seconds. She's very bright and smart. You can actually have a conversation with her like she's an adult. I can't wait until this stage is over with her!

Now on to my big 6th grader. He just had his first dance last Friday. I was sooo nervous for him!!! All he's been talking about is wanting a girlfriend and how he likes these girls, yet his grades have not been so good. Well, all but one class, so I told him he couldn't have a girlfriend until he was 15. He needs to more focused on school than girls. That's what's going to get him through in life, not girls. So he hasn't been talking too much about girls lately. Anyways, I took him to this dance and dressed him up in slacks and a polo shirt. We get there and kids are in jeans and t-shirts! I was like oh no, I hope nobody makes fun of him. You know the mom role! Luckily a lot of the 6th graders, since it's their first dance, dressed up. Afterwards I picked him up and he said he didn't dance, but had fun hanging out with his friends, and just walked around by himself too. I guess he's kind of a loner but if I doesn't mind, then I'm not going to worry about it. He's a GREAT kid!! We had lost our closeness after my 3 year old came, but these days it's coming back. The older he gets the more I appreciate him as a young man. He's such a loving, caring, emotional boy. I get teary eyed just thinking about it. I think I tell him at least once a week how much he saved my life!

It's amazing how you over look the small stuff when you are stressed out. I was soo stressed out for so long about money and bills. Now that I'm at a place where I'm not worried about it, I appreciate and see what I was missing out on. Now the important things are my kids and showing them the attention and love they so deserve. It's amazing how much they change their attitudes too according to what kind of mood the parents are in. My son made me realize that. I would never be where I am today with out him. I was young yes, but he made me want to get better for him and provide him with a house, a yard, and a good childhood. Even now, he's so grown up and he just loves me so much. That's what made me realize that I need to focus more on them and not on money or bills. Do you feel the love yet!!! Ha ha!! That's enough for now, I'll try and get on here more often... Until next time!